2009 Fantasy Baseball Payouts

We are using the same payout structure that we did for the '08 season, and with that said, Dagan won his 3rd Championship and also won the regular season. Chris (Donkey Punchers) had a great season, but faltered down the stretch and ended up sucking when it came down to it. Dagan ends up winning the regular season prize money as well as the championship money for a total of $580. Chris ends up winning $193 for being the first half winner. I will send checks out in the next week. Congrats fuckers!

The closest playoff race in league history

We have less than a week left in the regular season and we have 7 teams vying for 6 playoff spots. Who will be left out? Let's take a look:

Sword on Fire is currently in first after Wednesday night's games. He is also playing Angry Pirates, which compares to playing yourself at masturbation. You're always going win. SOF has a very good chance at taking the regular season title with his current record and opponent.

Lincecum on Some T's on Montezuma's are locked up in a tight battle. Lincecum is in the playoffs, but he is looking to get the number 2 slot in order to lock up the 1st round by. Montezuma's just needs to split the week in order to get in.

Prestige Worldwide and Moose is Loose are also locked up in a dogfight. If I can grab a few more categories and Lincecum falters I have a shot at securing the 2nd place slot. Moose and Big Schill are battling for the 6th and final playoff spot, and we won't know who clinches it until Sunday.

Donkey Punchers has the opportunity to go from first to 7th in a 3 week span if he shits the bed this week. I would laugh hard and say "I told you so" if this happens. His team has been playing waaay over their heads this year, and they are cooling down at the wrong time.

Yes, the rumor is true. I got married last weekend. The beginning of the end has begun. I no longer have testicles, and I walk around with my head down so I don't make eye contact with other woman. I will never be the same man again, especially after getting cunt-punched in the face at my bachelor party at Mohegan Sun. I still am shaking off the post-concussion symptoms and I look forward to having my front teeth returned to my head.

BIG WEEK!! Playoffs start on Monday!!

Now cue the creepy fat kid who will haunt your dreams for the next week.


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Current Category Leaders

Below are the current single week leaders of the 10 categories up for grabs. We will split up the ad revenue and pay out each owner who has the best single week in each respective categorey.

HITTING

Runs = 56, Prestige Worldwide

HR's = 19, Montezuma's Revenge

RBI = 60, The Big Schill

SB = 16, Prestige Worldwide

OBP = .430, Sword on Fire

PITCHING

Wins = 8, Donkey Punchers, Big Schill, Lincecum

Saves = 10, Montezuma's Revenge

K's = 88, Montezuma's Revenge

ERA = 1.23, Lincecum

WHIP = .83, Keep on Suckin

We have a few weeks left of the regular season to lock up these payouts.

This blog outlived Michael Jackson

Jacko may be dead, but this blog surely isn't! After a breaf (3 month) hiatus, I figured it was time to get my ass in gear and post some shit. Between planning my wedding, work and dominating this fantasy league, I haven't had much free time to post on here. I do put some blame on my brother's shoulders, as he has access to the blog and I told him to post numerous times. 

The playoff race is tightening up with only 4 weeks left of the regular season. DP and Sword on Fire are tied going in to this week and the best manager/commissioner in the world is only a game and a half behind them. This could wind up as being one of the closest regular season finishes in league history, but there is still plenty of baseball yet to be played. Lincecum, Montezumas and Moose are making some pretty serious moves late, while Big Schill still has a shot but is fading fast. Grumpy Muchkins and the defending champs, Paper Champs, are pretty much looking forward to next season unless some miracle happens. 

I will post a few times a week throughout the rest of the season to keep things lively. We have $73 in our advertising account, which isn't bad considering that this blog has been dead for 3 months. I will keep posting and you guys keep visiting and supporting our sponsors. 

I will post the leaders of each categorey in the next post, but until then, enjoy this George Brett Shit His Pants remix!

Week 1 Review: The cherry has been popped

The long-awaited 1st week of the fantasy baseball season has come to a close, and there are many early statements that are being made. Below is a review of week 1 in the High & Tight fantasy baseball league.


Moose is Loose 7 vs. Grumpy Munchkins 1

This was a battle from the start. By far the closest contest this week. Moose proved that he has the testes to get back to the championship game with an 8-2 vistory over a solid veteran. But don't be fooled by the score. If you take a look at the line you will see what I mean. Casten's gay fantasy - aka Chris Davis - has a line that only Warren from Something About Marry could be proud of. Davis went 3-0-0-0-0 .160! Talk about Casten's boner quickly going soft....wow!


The Big Schill 8 vs. Keep On Sucking 2

This was a clusterfuck of a pitching battle. Both teams had horrible pitching stats, and Big Schill came out on top with in the hitting departments, giving him a solid start to his season. If Schill wants to compete for a title this year he will have to address his pitching staff. I would rather have Ted Kennedy on the mound than some of the guys that he has in his bullpen. Alfonso Soriano fuled the victory with a studly line of 7-4-7-2. Keep on Sucking only had 4 players hit a home run for him. This could be a sign of things to come.

Sword of Fire 8 vs. Beach Bums 2

One of the league's most consistent owners starts the season off on the right foot with an 8-2 victory over the Beach Bums. Sword had a solid line in hitting and a great line when it came to his pitching (2.04 ERA, 1.02 WHIP). Beach Bums golden boy - Justin Upton - has produced absolutely nothing for him at this point. Upton will determine the success of this team, and right now it doesn't look good. Sword has one of the best hitting lineups in the league, but his pitching is less than desirable.

Prestige Worldwide 8 vs. Montezuma's Revenge 2

This was one of those "statement games" that I alluded to earlier. Is this a sign of things to come? Is Prestige Worldwide for real, and will I finally field a team that is competitive? I think so. Longoria had a great opening week (5-5-10-1 .481) and PW's offense was running on all cylanders with a weekly hitting line of 39-15-54-2 .379. Pitching was also solid with 7 wins and an impressive 8 saves. Montezuma didn't have a bad week, but he ran in to a buzz saw of a fantasy baseball team this week, so you might have well given your team the week off. On a side note; a combined 3 steals is an embarassment to people who have functioning legs.

Angry Pirates 6 vs. Lincecum on some T's 4

The new guy shows his balls and pulls out a victory over the veteran Russ in a tightly contested contest 6-4. Neither team should be proud though, as this was a donkey of a matchup if I have ever seen one. This was like watching Jose Canseco trying to catch a flyball with his head - comical and embarassing. I felt bad for both of them. I wanted to let them borrow some of my players. The lone bright spot in this contest was AP's pitching, other than that, vomit.

Donkey Punchers 8 vs. Paper Champs 2

Wow. How the mighty have fallen. Paper Champs has from top to bottom the worst week in the league by far. It was a full-fledged diarreah shit of a week for the defending champs, and I am sure that has made Lincecum on Some T's and his players joyous in the locker room. You can't expect to win when you don't break 30 runs and RBI in a week., and you have an OBP of .291. Not to mention the 5.69 ERA. Donkey Punchers has a solid week, and is looking to prove that last year's success was not a fluke.


There were 4 out of the 6 games that ended 8-2, which is somewhat unusually. One week means nothing in the grand scheme of things though. The coming weeks will give us a very good idea of which teams are for real, and which teams gay.



And on a side note, please check out this video below. Fast forward to the 1:45 mark and watch the Kenny Powers lookin' dude have one of the sweetest reactions to a KO ever!

2009 Draft Review

Our in-house writer, Adam Leech, has been kind enough to compile his annual draft review for our reading pleasure. I may not agree with all of his opinions, but it sure is fun to read. I felt it was necessary to close it all out with a little dance from Gisele. Enjoy.

FYI Kyle – I do this every year. Nothing personal. I’m just a know it all who spends way too much time researching. And I’m a writer. This is what I do.


Round 1

Best: OF CGranderson, Lincecum on some Ts (LOT). This may have been obvious because it was the first choice, but getting power/speed combo like that was a great move.
Runner: 1B CPena, Beach Bums (BB). Not as obvious because most rankings bury him due to AVG. But in an OBP league, he’s gold. Nice move Troy
Worst: SP YGallardo, Keep on Sucking (KOS). I really want to hand this to Casten, but this move makes no sense to me. Sure, he MIGHT be good. But he hasn’t done anything to deserve a pick this high. ESPECIALLY over Billingsley and Shields.
Runner: C MWieters, Grumpy Munchkins (GM). Casten bought into the hype big time. I read enough of it that I am pretty convince he is special. But, he could have been had in the fourth. Now you have to wait until June and carry two catchers. Not worth it.

Round 2

Best: SP JShields, Donkey Punchers (DP). A young and very underrated pitcher, who helps in every pitching category outside saves. And he’s getting better. Other owners went for youngins without a track record in the first. Shield is safe and smart.
Runner: OF MOrdonez, KOS. Pierce made up for his first round pick by snatching up Magglio who dropped a lot farther than most thought he would. Shout out to Dave on the Tulo pick too.
Worst: 2B RCano, LOT. Sixteen rounds later, you could’ve had Kelly Johnson, who may not be a flashy name in a big city, but I bet you dollars to donuts (mmm... donuts) that KJ outproduces Cano.
Runner: RP JNathan, Moose is Loose (MIL). Nothing against Nathan, but it’s too early for closers in my opinion. They’re pretty easy and cheap on the trade market mid-year.

Round 3

Best: OF RIbanez, Angry Pirates (AP). Exciting as dirt but solid in R, HR, RBI and OBP. Expect even better in Philly.
Runner: SP JVazquez, GM. Bad ERA last year should be improved in ATL with another 200 Ks. Smart pick at this point in the draft.
Worst: SP CZambrano, Prestige Worldwide (PW). Lars made up for the pick by stealing some good SPs later in the draft. But this just didn’t make any sense to me. While his ERA balloons, his Ks have gone down. Give me Greinke, Wainright, or Lars’s 13th rounder, Josh Johnson.
Runner: 3B MDeRosa, BB. I don’t have a real problem with this pick, but it was early. His position flexibility makes him extra valuable.

Round 4

Best: SP ZGrienke, GM, and SP MCain, Montezuma’s Revenge (MR). Neither are likely to win many games, but 12 wins, 180 ks, sub 3.70 era and a 1.20 whip are nice gets here.
Runner: SS JPeralta, Ringo Fire (ROF). After this, the SS position drops in quality pretty drastically (after Jeter and JJ later this round, RTheriot is next 14 rounds later) and he’s good.
Worst: OF NCruz, Paper Champs (PC). Don’t see the need to take him here. He’s not proven anything yet and he’ll only stay in the clean up spot if he proves he is worth it. There were less risky players available and he’d probably be around for you in the 12th.
Runner: 3B AGordon, LOT. It’s not too much of stretch in this round, but I just don’t like the rankings LOT was operating under. Better than Chipper, Beltre, Encarnacion and Reynolds? No way. Even if he does out-produce them, it doesn’t make sense here.

Round 5

Best: 3B CJones, ROF. There is no way this guy should’ve dropped this far. Speaking from experience, his injuries are a pain in the but. But he produces on a level on par with any 3B outside New York when he’s in.
Runner: SP AWainright, DP. Solid player, which is what you should be shooting for at this point.
Worst: RP CMarmol, Big Schill (BS). If he was guaranteed the role of closer, this wouldnt be as bad. But he hasn’t yet and there were closers who had solid jobs.
Runner: SP CYoung, PW. This round was full of pretty solid picks. This was just the one I liked the next least because he would have been available later.

Round 6

Best: 3B ABeltre, PW. An underrated hitter in a contract year at a shallow position. I give Lars extra props for going after the best available hitter, rather than focusing on a position (he has Longoria).
Runner: C RDoumit, KOS. A top five catcher this late is a nice pull for Pierce.
Worst: SP CKershaw, PC. There are a lot of questions on the Champs pitching staff. This just adds to them. Danks, Johnson, Slowey, Floyd, Lilly, Weaver… There were other solid players with upside. Could be a bargaining chip midseason if he pans out.
Runner: OF/1B CJackson, BS. Just a boring player who does everything just pretty well. I could see him as a back up in four rounds, but as a starter? I think Dave will need to address this position.

Round 7

Best: SP JJohnson, PW, and SP JDanks, BS. These are two pitchers who could pay huge dividends for these teams. The talent level of SP started to drop significantly after this round.
Runner: 3B KSlowey, DP. Another good pitcher.
Worst: SP BSheets, BB. Shortly after, Troy announced that he hates this league. Yes, Troy, unfortunately you’re in a league full of know-it-alls, all of whom realized Sheets won’t be back for some time. Stash him on your bench and hope he comes back in the second half.
Runner: C MNapoli, GM. I actually think this pick is where you’re supposed to take a catcher like Napoli. I just want to again point out that Casten will have two catchers until June when Wieters gets called up. Better hope he’s good.

Round 8

Best: OF CYoung, AP. Congratulations new guy. This was officially the steal of the draft. A young guy with his power and speed potential should not be had this late. OBP will be a problem with this team, but a nice pick on a player who could breakout.
Runner: RP JValverde, ROF. For a guy that has lead the NL in saves the past two years, this is a pretty low draft position. Soria and Valverde are a nice, safe, pair of relievers.
Worst: SP THanson, LOT. Don’t understand why you’d reach on this guy at this point. He’s heading to AAA and may not get a sniff until until the fall. He may prove me wrong, but I’d rather have Meche.
Runner: 3B TGlaus, MIL. This isn’t a bad pick, but Glaus is the type of streaky guy who is annoying to own and always seems to have injury problems. He has an injury that may keep him out until June or May and you had other 3Bs. Was this the one you wanted a mulligan on? Don’t blame you.

Round 9

Best: OF JCust, BS. An OBP-league guy who will be a top 100 player with regular time. And he addresses a power need on this team. It is unclear whether the Giambi signing will impact his Abs, however.
Runner: SP GMeche, ROF. There aren’t many reliable high K, low ERA pitchers at this point in the draft, but Dagan found one. He’s not flashy but its these type of picks that separate good owners from the bad ones.
Worst: 3B Hank Blalock, AP. I really don’t get this pick. When was the last time Hank was starter worthy? He’s the starter on this team. I don’t see a whole lot of upside. Better hope Mike Lowell is back and healthy.
Runner: SP MPelfrey, PW. If you had to put a gun to my head, this is the next guy I’d choose. But I really can’t complain too much about Pelfrey at this spot. If he’s ever going to produce, it will be this year.

Round 10

Best: 1B PKonerko, GM. Prior to last year, this guy was a beast (I know, I picked him first last year). Difficult to imagine the drop continue and he had a nice second half. Could pay off big for Casten.
Runner: SP JWeaver, MR. Good job by me. If he reaches his potential he could be great. Even if remains mediocre, it’s not all that bad.
Worst: OF JDrew, AP. I can say pretty confidently that you could have waited five more rounds and still got Drew. He’s just so fragile it’s a joke. Give me Elijah, Choo or DYoung.
Runner: RP HStreet, BS. Not a bad pick, but there hasn’t been much good news on Street since he saved 37 a couple years ago. Could lose his job. Brian Wilson, Francisco and Hanrahan would’ve been safer.

Round 11

Best: 2B JLopez, PW. His OBP is horrendous but he produces elsewhere. Not flashy, but productive and only 25. Great value here.
Runner: 1B JGiambi, MR. Worth taking here with the potential of 30 hrs if he stays health. Another OBP-league guy. He is 38 though.
Worst: OF JWhillingham, AP. Hate to continue to trash the new guy, but JWill is in the middle of crowded outfield, injury prone and, really, waiver wire material.
Runner: RP JMotte, PC. Can’t hate this pick too much. But at this point, there were other relievers who have a solid hold on jobs.

Round 12

Best: SP OPerez, BS. Opie is hit or miss, but when he hits, he hits big. He may have a 4.40 era with some exceptionally shitty games, but he has the potential for 200 ks. Nice pick by Commish Fox at this stage.
Runner: DH JThome, MIL. Really surprised he dropped this far. If he stays healthy, which he probably will, Moose picks up 30 hrs and 90 rbis very late in the draft.
Worst: SP MParra, KOS. Not a horrible pick, but I guarantee this guy ends up on the waiver wire eventually.
Runner: SS RTheriot, LIT. This is way too late to grab your starting shortstop. I’d pick up Lowrie if I were you.

Round 13

Best: OF EDukes, ROF. I would’ve scooped him up a few rounds ago if I wasn’t already full of OFs. Great potential, should get playing time and worth a chance at this point.
Runner: 1B/3B CGuillen, KOS. Another productive player who dropped. Great bench player/UTIL and will be OF eligible this year.
Worst: OF MLaporta, LOT. Hasn’t played in a major league game yet and won’t for some time. Sent to the minors Tuesday. Doesn’t have the type of Longoria-upside to be worth holding a spot.
Runner: RP KGregg, MR. Clearly a reach. Even if he closes, it probably won’t be for long. You suck Leech.

Round 14

Best: SP ASonnanstine, KOS. I don’t really like this guy very much, but he’s a nice player at this point and will contribute, even if he isn’t a star.
Runner: OF CCrisp, PW. He’ll hit leadoff and as long as he’s healthy I can see 100 runs and 40 sbs. Royals actually don’t have a horrible lineup.
Worst: SP JZimmerman, GM. This was typical Casten. I love that he studies and has an opinion on everything, he tends to overthink things. Could’ve had him later. Scherzer, Zimmerman, Weiters, Davis, Bruce – that’s a whole lot of youngsters. Oh and how about a 2b? Aviles would’ve been nice to have.
Runner: SP ACook, BB. It’s unlikely he’ll produce the same number of wins. Then he helps you in, lets see, zero categories.

Round 15

Best: SP APettite, GM. Nice value here. He won’t be huge and he’ll probably be injured at some point, but 15 wins isn’t out of reach.
Runner: RP MCorpas, PC. Good spring. May steal the job back and provide great value.
Worst: RP JSamardzija, LOT. Bullpen arm. Won’t get saves and isn’t even the 8th inning guy. I don’t know. Don’t see the reason for him to have been drafted.
Runner: OF TSnider, AP. You’re going to wish you drafted Adam Lind instead.

Round 16

Best: C JPosada, MR. Nice job holding off to get a catcher. Great find very late. If he sucks, no real loss. But he’s throwing well in the spring and could be huge (for a catcher).
Runner: SP JMaine, DP and CVolstad, ROF. So many crappy pitchers went before these guys. Maine is a little dinged up, but worth taking here with multi-category upside.
Worst: SP THudson, AP. “He could return in August” Nuff said.
Runner: SS KGreene, BS. I just like to pick on Dave. Could’ve found a better bench player here. No real beef though at this point.

Round 17

Best: 1B BButler, BS. A better bench player. I expect him to continue his second half swoon and be in the 25 hr 85 rbi range.
Runner: SP KKawakami, MIL. From Japan, so who knows. But Atlanta is a good place to pitch and apparently this guy is pretty good. AP’s pick of Penny was good value here as well
Worst: SS YEscobar, DP. You should not be picking starting position players in the second to last round. Yunel is pretty unexceptional in all categories.
Runner: SP EJackson, PC. Only because I would never want to start him.

Round 18

Best: 1B ALaRoche, PW. Wow, great pick here. May start off slow, but when he gets hot he’s much more valuable then where he was drafted.
Runner: 2B/3B IStewart, MR. Great last round pick, even if I do say so myself. Could start at 2B, but will get a shot eventually and was productive last year. Low risk, high reward.
Worst: RP JHowell, BS. Who is this guy?
Runner: SS MTejeda, PC. Because Jason will probably offer him to me for Hanley.

2009 Keepers

I have collected all the keepers from everybody except for Donkey Punchers who is in Wyoming skiing. He will be back on Wednesday and will send them over to me then and I will post.

Adjust your cheat sheets and good luck.


Motezuma's Revenge

Hanley Ramirez SS
Lance Berkman 1B
Alexei Ramirez 2b/of/ss
Manny Ramirez OF
Roy Halladay P
Jake peavy P

No Glove No Love

Alfonso Soriano OF
Grady Sizemore OF
Cole Hamels
Jason Bay OF
Joe Mauer C
Scott Kazmir P

Grumpy Munchkins 

Albert Pujols 1B
Ryan Braun OF
Prince Fielder 1B
Jay Bruce
Chris Davis 1B
Jacoby Ellsbury OF

Prestige Worldwide

Evan Longoria 3B
Josh Hamilton OF
BJ Upton OF
Jimmy Rollins SS
Adam Dunn OF
Adrian Gonzalez 1B

Beach Bums

Corey Hart
K-Rod
Shane Victorino
Felix Hernandez
Jorge Cantu
Justin Upton

Keep on sucking...

David Wright
Miguel Cabrera
Carlos Quentin
Jon Lester
Brandon Webb
Dan Haren

Paper Champs

Dustin Pedroia
Jose Reyes
Ryan Howard
Mark Teixeira
Aramis Ramirez
Carlos Lee

Angry Pirates

Dan Uggla
Brandon Phillips
Geovany Soto
Vernon Wells
Jon Lackey
Jonathan Papelbon

Moose is Loose

Brian Roberts
Ichiro Suzuki
Ryan Ludwick
Brian McCann
Justin Morneau
Daisuke Matsuzaka

Ringo Fire

Carlos Beltran
Chase Utley
Johan Santana
David Ortiz
Kevin Youkilis
Matt Kemp

Lincecum on Some Ts

Nick Markakis

Matt Holliday

Carl Crawford

Time Lincecum

Josh Beckett

David Price

Donkey Punchers.......TBD

2009 Bonus Payouts

Since we have started this blog we already generated $35 in to the bonus pool for the 2009 season. By loyally visiting this site and paying homage to our sponsors, we have been able to create a bonus payout for the 2009 season. 

How it works:

There are 10 categories that we compete in every day of of fantasy baseball lives. We live and die by these categories. We cry. We shit. We eat. We sleep....thinking about these categories. We are going to put a bounty on each category. We will split the pot up in to tenths, and which ever manager has the best single week stat in each respective category will receive one tenth of the pot for that single category. To clarify, whomever has the most HR's in a week, or whatever manager had the lowest single week ERA - would both receive a tenth of the pot. It has nothing to do with largest margin of victory or anything else. Strictly the best single week for each of the 10 categories. One manager can win more than one category. 

Essentially, if you have the best week for HR's during the season, you will win a 10th of the pot. If you have the best single week in RBI, you win a 10th of the pot. Etc...... Pretty simple. 

This is a good way to add an extra side pot while not increasing the league fee. These tough economic times call for desperate measures, so we have put a freeze on the league fee increase - although it is rumored that Obama is looking to supplement this increase through tax payer's dollars.

And now on with the paraplegic hockey fight - USA vs. Canada. Enjoy. 

The League is up!!

Not just Clemens' dick up Jeter's ass, but the High & Tight Yahoo league is also up! You should have received an email from Yahoo inviting you to join the league - if you haven't let me know and I will resend it.

This is the historic 5th year anniversary for the High & Tight fantasy league, and it is more competitive than ever! I look forward to the day that we can all get together and have a live draft. I imagine it as a long weekend of drinking, fantasy trash talk, a draft and probably some fist fights. Until that day we will have to settle for the Yahoo online draft. A far cry from the true capabilities that this league exudes, but it will have to do for now. It's like having to listen to Joe Buck and Tim McCarver call a Sox game on Fox. You are happy that you are watching the game, but it sucks that you have to listen to these 2 ass hats for 3 hours. I would not be upset if Tim and Joe were sexually assaulted by a wild rhino (and it was caught on film...obviously). I digress.... The Yahoo league is up and ready to roll. 

IMPORTANT DATES

Keepers need to be in by March 16th

The online draft will be conducted March 23rd

Week 1 starts March 30th


This will give an adequate enough time to select keepers, plan for the draft and get ready for opening day.



OTHER NOTES

• Jason's 2 trades have gone through as there was not much opposition to either one of these trades. All players involved will be reflected on current rosters for keeper purpose. 

• I will announce the bonus structure for the season in the next few weeks. We have already generated $30 through advertising on the blog for additional bonus payouts. I will announce the official bonus structure soon. Eat a dick in the meantime. 

• Please send league entry fee's ASAP!! Same as last year: $75

• Enjoy some Keanu Reeves vomit!!

2009 Draft Lottery

Here is the masterpiece that I created for your viewing pleasure. Please excuse the quality, as I filmed this on my photo camera and not a real video camera. Talk about low budget.

Enjoy!

Boomtown and Beer Goggles

As I prepare to dominate another year in our league, I went back to last year’s draft and took a close look at the good, the bad, and the ugly picks. For fun, I identified the highlights and lowlights:

Boomtown: players that blew up, far exceeding expectations in 2008.

Beer goggles: pick that looked ‘good’ when you were making it but turned out to be fugly later on.

So, here we go, in no particular order.

• Maybe this year (Troy Brown)
• Boomtown = Casey Blake: last pick of the draft yielded a 21HR third baseman who finished ranked higher than Lowell, C. Guillen, Alex Gordon, and Chone Figgins. Plus he has two first names, what more could you want?

• Beer goggles = Jason Isringhausen??? This wasn’t just a pick, this was a keeper! Ouch. After losing his job, hurting himself, getting demoted to the minors, and whining like a little bitch, he finished the year with a 5.60 ERA and 1.64 WHIP. No wonder he’s unsigned. Have fun in beer league softball, asshole.

• One Nut Wonder (Jason O)
• Boomtown = J.D. Drew: 22^nd round pick dominated the first half of the year before his annual bout of vaginitis.

• Beer goggles = So many stinker picks (Bonderman, Buchholz, Tony Pena?, Ian Kennedy, Sexson), but again I have to go to the keepers. And it’s a tie: Hafner (5HR; ranked 971) and Hughes (0 W, 6.62 ERA)! Seriously, looking at One Nut’s draft, you’d think he finished in last place, not as the champ. Job well done during the season, sir, job well done.

• Hank Steinbrenner (Russ Stutsky)
• Boomtown = Grabbing Shaun Marcum in the 21^st round and watching him put up excellent numbers until an injury derailed him.

• Beer goggles = Using an 8^th rounder on Frenchie Francoeur. Consider these stats: 599 AB, 11 HR, and an OBP under .300. You really have to try hard to suck that bad.

• Donkey Punchers (Chris Shannon)
• Boomtown = Took a chance on a young 2B from Texas and it paid off big time. Kinsler was on his way to stud status before hurting his man parts. Could be a 30/30 guy this year.

• Beer goggles = The crap combo of Kelvim Escobar and Chad Cordero in 14^th and 15^th rounds. Total stats: 4.1 IP, 0 W, 0 SV, and two lost picks. You should kick yourself in the nuts for those picks.

• Montezuma’s Revenge (Adam Leech)
• Boomtown = Tim ‘the little man that could’ Lincecum. Ungodly stats last year for a bad Giants team. This 9^th rounder should be a multi-year keeper. Perhaps you’d like to trade him to me?

• Beer goggles = With the 19^th pick of the live draft, Adam selects Paul Konerko. Didn’t realize we needed to fill a roster spot with a corpse.

• No Glove No Love (David Fox)
• Boomtown = Grabbing the perpetual tease, Richy Harden, in the 15^th round paid huge dividends: 2.07 ERA and 1.06 WHIP. As dominant as anyone when healthy. That certainly was a happy ending.

• Beer goggles = With the 18^th pick of the live draft, David selects Andruw Jones. Didn’t realize we needed to fill a roster spot with a corpse. Amazing to say, but he should have gone with Konerko instead.
  

• B12 Bombers (Lars Borssen)
• Boomtown = Went with a youth movement and collected some young studs. Tough to decide who was better: Longoria in the 10^th, Hamilton in the 12^th, or Lester in the 19^th. More upside in this draft than any other.

• Beer goggles = Rewarded Byrnes for his career year with a keeper spot. Was severely let down by crash back to earth.

• Keep on Suckin (Pierce Cole)
• Boomtown = Got 25HR in only 413 AB from a pitcher would couldn’t pitch, but could hit the long ball…and chicks dig the long ball. Can Ankiel maintain this power display?

• Beer goggles = To say Gorzelanny pitched poorly last year is an insult to the word poorly. He did have an ERA to make Satan proud: 6.66.

• Waiving Goodbye (departed Litchfield)
• Boomtown = Getting a 32 HR second baseman in the 9^th round was impressive, even if his name sort of rhymes with ugly. Uggla…ugly…see they sort of rhyme.

• Beer goggles = The turd sandwich that Ian Snell called pitching was the exact opposite of impressive. Just about every other pitcher in baseball last year contributed more than the 11^th round pick of Snell.

• Ring of Fire (Dagan Loisel, hey, that’s me)
• Boomtown = My boy, Nate Mclouth, was the steal of the draft as the 230^th pick. Each of you passed on Mclouth at least 13 times. His final ranking was 29^th overall for 2008. Shame on you.

• Beer goggles = I always fuck up my first live pick or two. Last year was no exception. Hello Gary Sheffield, would you like to join my team and royally suck? You would, how wonderful.

• Grumpy Munchkins (Bradley Castanious)
• Boomtown = He believed in Jack Cust when no one else would. He loved him without end. He got 33 HR and .375 OBP from a 17^th rounder. Bravo.

• Beer goggles = If minor league stats had counted, Rich Hill might have lived up to his 10^th round draft position. Actually, no, he sucked in the minors, too. Waste of pick. Waste of life.

And there it is. The unofficial hindsight review of things I think I think about last year’s draft. I’m sure you all agree unequivocally.

Dagan

EDIT: Seemed to have lost you there, Moose.

• Moose is Loose (Brian Bishop Mooserson)
• Boomtown = Nothing much. Oh, I guess you could say that grabbing the AL MVP in the 13th round was an okay pick, you know if you like to have good players and such. Remarkable that he could pull Pedroia so late in a league of Red Sox fans. Moose loves Pedroia so much he named his new baby Dustin. True story.
  

• Beer goggles = Moose's infatuation with Japanese men reared its ugly head with the back to back picks of Fukudome and Johjima in the 14th and 15th rounds. Fucko was okay for a few months until pitchers realized he can't hit breaking balls, but Johjima was so bad he should've been sent back to Tokyo to star in tentacle porn.
  

A-ROID

I never thought I could be so happy about baseball in the month of February. When it was revealed that A-Rod had tested positive for steroids it was like receiving a late Christmas gift. I was grinning from ear to ear and I felt giddy at the fact that the Yankees would have to deal with this distraction for the rest of the year. Having a cancer like A-Roid in your clubhouse will not aid you in winning a championship. 

After it all sunk in, I started thinking; should A-Rod be inducted in to the Hall of Fame? A better question is whether McGuire, Clemens, Bonds and the rest of the associated steroid users should be inducted in? Tell me what  you think. 

I found this on another site but I thought it was hilarious and had to post it. 

 

VS.

Like an errant bat to the face, the 2009 fantasy baseball season is upon us. Yahoo has now made it available to sign up for the 2009 season, so I will be doing that in the next few days. You should receive an email inviting you to join the league. 

I have received everyone's votes and here is the plan:

• We will be expanding rosters by 1 bench spot this year. This will help make the league deeper, but without compromising parity.

• We will not be adding another keeper slot this year. We are tossing around the idea of adding an "up and comer" keeper slot for the 2010 season. Essentially, any player who is eligible for rookie of the year, or who did not qualify to be a rookie in the current season would be allowed to be kept in a 7th slot that would be allocated for an "up and comer". Let me know your thought. 

• We have to have another vote on how we will be determining tie-breakers in the playoffs this year. See below. 

• We will not be instituting the "lose your draft pick" in the round your keepers were drafted provision.

Determining tie-breakers in the playoffs:

Would you like to keep it the same (ERA during the week), or would you like head-to-head record in the regular season be the manual tie-breaker that the league will use? Let's here your thoughts. 

Please send 2009 league fees to:

Lars Borssen

20 Fairbanks St. apt. 1

Brookline, MA 02446

 

New League Member

After a daunting and comprehensive application process, Kyle Baker has been chosen as the new member of the High and Tight fantasy baseball league. He is our 12th member and will round out the manager roster for the 2009 season.

Kyle is a childhood friend of defending champ Jason Ouellette and now resides in Billerica, MA. As you can tell by this photo, Kyle has a softer side that he isn't afraid to show. In his spare time he likes to take part in fantasy leagues, race walk for exercise, and read a good book in the park.

Kyle will be taking over Litchfield's fantasy team and will choose 6 keepers off of that roster. Please welcome Kyle to the league.

Zombies like turtles

This might be one of the best Youtube videos of all time! This kid is not fucking around - he likes turtles!

This has nothing to do with fantasy baseball, but I don't really care. In my opinion, this video fits within the context of anything. I could be giving an insurance presentation and bust this out and no one would care. This kids passion for turtles is unmeasurable. I mean the kids getting interviewed on TV and can't help but let the reporter know that he likes turtles. Deal with it.

The Blog of all Blogs

The High and Tight fantasy league has morphed in to a monster! The upcoming 2009 season is only months away, and this will mark the 1st year that this blog will co-exist with our main Yahoo! page.

The ultimate goal of this blog is to create additional revenues through the advertising banners that are located on this site. All I ask is that you click on the advertising banners and visit the sites. Whatever we generate through the year will be paid out in bonuses at the end of the fantasy season. Whatever owner holds the best weekly record in each stat category will be paid out 1/10th of the add revenues (although I may take a small portion for a "commissioners fee"). Don't be a dick - if you visit the blog, click on the banners.

There are some links to the right that should be helpful with fantasy research and other league info. If you have any other ideas that you think may improve the blog, let me know. The first order of business as a manger is to fill out the league vote that was emailed to you and send it back to me. You can also access the questions here.

The entry fee will remain the same this season at $75. We will also be taking on a new manager in the league who will take over Litchfield's team. This new manager will be able to select 6 keepers from Litchfield's roster.

I'll be figuring out the dates and will let you know when keepers will need to be selected by. Typically towards the end of spring training. We also need to figure out which night in the week would work best for us to hold the draft. Send me your suggestions.

So the Yankees have spent their dicks off this off-season, Joe Torre is my new best friend, and Jason Varitek will be leading our fearless pitchers in to battle. The real question lies in whether Varitek will be able to handle heat of Chewbaca - the Sox new setup man. Knowing Varitek, he will not only handle Chew's heat, but he will be balls deep in Princess Leia before the nights over. So who pulls more tail? Varitek or John Stamos? You tell me.

Until next time.