Week 1 Review: The cherry has been popped

The long-awaited 1st week of the fantasy baseball season has come to a close, and there are many early statements that are being made. Below is a review of week 1 in the High & Tight fantasy baseball league.


Moose is Loose 7 vs. Grumpy Munchkins 1

This was a battle from the start. By far the closest contest this week. Moose proved that he has the testes to get back to the championship game with an 8-2 vistory over a solid veteran. But don't be fooled by the score. If you take a look at the line you will see what I mean. Casten's gay fantasy - aka Chris Davis - has a line that only Warren from Something About Marry could be proud of. Davis went 3-0-0-0-0 .160! Talk about Casten's boner quickly going soft....wow!


The Big Schill 8 vs. Keep On Sucking 2

This was a clusterfuck of a pitching battle. Both teams had horrible pitching stats, and Big Schill came out on top with in the hitting departments, giving him a solid start to his season. If Schill wants to compete for a title this year he will have to address his pitching staff. I would rather have Ted Kennedy on the mound than some of the guys that he has in his bullpen. Alfonso Soriano fuled the victory with a studly line of 7-4-7-2. Keep on Sucking only had 4 players hit a home run for him. This could be a sign of things to come.

Sword of Fire 8 vs. Beach Bums 2

One of the league's most consistent owners starts the season off on the right foot with an 8-2 victory over the Beach Bums. Sword had a solid line in hitting and a great line when it came to his pitching (2.04 ERA, 1.02 WHIP). Beach Bums golden boy - Justin Upton - has produced absolutely nothing for him at this point. Upton will determine the success of this team, and right now it doesn't look good. Sword has one of the best hitting lineups in the league, but his pitching is less than desirable.

Prestige Worldwide 8 vs. Montezuma's Revenge 2

This was one of those "statement games" that I alluded to earlier. Is this a sign of things to come? Is Prestige Worldwide for real, and will I finally field a team that is competitive? I think so. Longoria had a great opening week (5-5-10-1 .481) and PW's offense was running on all cylanders with a weekly hitting line of 39-15-54-2 .379. Pitching was also solid with 7 wins and an impressive 8 saves. Montezuma didn't have a bad week, but he ran in to a buzz saw of a fantasy baseball team this week, so you might have well given your team the week off. On a side note; a combined 3 steals is an embarassment to people who have functioning legs.

Angry Pirates 6 vs. Lincecum on some T's 4

The new guy shows his balls and pulls out a victory over the veteran Russ in a tightly contested contest 6-4. Neither team should be proud though, as this was a donkey of a matchup if I have ever seen one. This was like watching Jose Canseco trying to catch a flyball with his head - comical and embarassing. I felt bad for both of them. I wanted to let them borrow some of my players. The lone bright spot in this contest was AP's pitching, other than that, vomit.

Donkey Punchers 8 vs. Paper Champs 2

Wow. How the mighty have fallen. Paper Champs has from top to bottom the worst week in the league by far. It was a full-fledged diarreah shit of a week for the defending champs, and I am sure that has made Lincecum on Some T's and his players joyous in the locker room. You can't expect to win when you don't break 30 runs and RBI in a week., and you have an OBP of .291. Not to mention the 5.69 ERA. Donkey Punchers has a solid week, and is looking to prove that last year's success was not a fluke.


There were 4 out of the 6 games that ended 8-2, which is somewhat unusually. One week means nothing in the grand scheme of things though. The coming weeks will give us a very good idea of which teams are for real, and which teams gay.



And on a side note, please check out this video below. Fast forward to the 1:45 mark and watch the Kenny Powers lookin' dude have one of the sweetest reactions to a KO ever!